


Expectations VS Reality

by whiteroseofthemoon



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: s05e13 Basic Sandwich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28405332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiteroseofthemoon/pseuds/whiteroseofthemoon
Summary: Set after 5x13 Basic Sandwich episode.I am a huge Jeff/Annie shipper and I believe they live their happy ending after the events of Season 6. But I couldn’t help but think what would have happened if Jeff told her he loved her in the end of season 5 instead of the finale.Set after events in the Borchert’s Lab, Jeff doesn’t wait for the entire year to confess how he feels about Annie. He tells her straight away, but gets the reaction he never expected. A little darker AU than Community universe. Everything is canon up to season 6. Eventual happy ending, probably, maybe.
Relationships: Annie Edison/Jeff Winger
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1. 

So, they saved it. The Greendale survives, yet again. Despite it’s being less than an adequate school, despite the craziness and the paintball games, Subway wars and a crazy scientist in the basement, they saved it. Everybody is celebrating. Shirley is dancing and chatting happily with Hickey, Abed and Britta were discussing something quietly in the corner. Looking at Britta made Jeff a little uncomfortable. Their crazy engagement left an unpleasant aftertaste. He was absolutely insane to propose, but now he was thinking, why on earth did Britta say yes. Was she just as scared as he was? Or did she have feelings for him? If she did, it was a disaster. He never wanted to hurt her, he was just in a very bad place and Britta was there. This whole year was a complete and utter catastrophe. The graduation, his failed attempt to go back to law, teaching position, his not-suicide, Greendale vs Subway, this fucking engagement. His falling out with Annie…

Annie. At the thought of her his chest clenched. Ever since the Ass-Crack Bandit thing, he felt that she slowly, but determinedly was pulling away from him. They weren’t texting as much as they did, she skipped their last three coffee dates (friends dates, but still). She said she was busy with work and studies and he had no reason not to believe her, because Annie, unlike him was never dishonest. She spoke her mind whether he wanted to hear it or not. When she brought up the subject of them yet again, he did what he always does when it comes to complex emotional situations, he ran away. Because it was easier, it made him feel in control, it made him feel safe from pain and disappointment.

But today he knew that it has to stop. He needs to get it over with, man up and tell Annie the truth. He can’t keep doing it to himself, all the lies, all the pain, all that what drove him to propose to Britta and in the process, he hurt Annie, again. And this was unacceptable. He could see how badly she reacted to the news, he saw that there were tears in her eyes and he wanted so badly to comfort her, but his selfishness, fear and anger would allow him only to focus on his own insecurities. He didn’t know if Annie is in love with him, if she ever was in love with him or was it just a crush or attraction. But he wanted to have a mature, adult conversation about it. Because he knew how he felt, he knew it for awhile, ever since he stopped seeing other women to spend more time with Annie doing some ridiculous investigation on yam. Back then he couldn’t do it, he just couldn’t. She was so, so young, so innocent. But today, when she was giving her very own Winger speech, he realized that somewhere along the line, Annie bloomed into determined, beautiful and headstrong woman she was always destined to become. She was always much more mature than most people of her age, hell she was more mature than him in so many ways. So, he has to respect her enough to let her want what she wants, even if that is him and even if it’s not the best decision for her, he will accept it, because living like he does now, denying himself even an attempt at happiness, will ultimately destroy him. 

Lost in his thoughts Jeff reached the parking spot. He was looking for Annie in order to talk to her, but he couldn’t find her, not among the cheering crowd, not in the study room, not in the library. She was probably tired and went home earlier. So, Jeff decided to follow her, it was good that Abed was still at the party, he hoped that Britta will keep him occupied for a while, he really needed to talk to Annie alone. As it turned out, he didn’t need to go that far. There she was, standing next to her car. The parking lot was almost empty, Jeff decided it was now or never.

‘Annie!’, upon hearing her name Annie turned her head and noticed Jeff. She waved at him and Jeff was almost running towards her. God, it was almost like in those cheesy movies Annie loved so much. Well, she has always been sentimental and romantic and if she wanted, Jeff will be all that. Just for her, because he loved her and there is nothing in this world he wouldn’t do for her to be happy. 

‘Hey, Jeff! I was about to go home, today was a crazy day,’ she smiled at him as usual, but Jeff could see that her smile didn’t quite reach her big blue eyes. He felt another pinch of guilt. 

‘Yeah, it sure was,’ he nodded. He decided to not trail off and just get over with it. ‘Listen, I need to talk to you about something, it’s very important.’

‘Yes, sure, what happened?’ Annie’s voice dropped a little and he could see her frown slightly. His heart was about to explode, his palms were sweaty and he could feel the blood pounding in his head. He hated it and loved it at the same time. No other person he ever met could trigger such a reaction from him. 

‘First, I wanted to tell you that you were completely right about me and Britta, it was a stupid decision based on nothing but fear and anxiety.’

‘Okay…’

‘Obviously you know that our insane engagement is over,’ Annie nodded in agreement, clearly confused at where he was heading with this. Jeff took a deep breath. ‘The reason why I am saying this to you is because…For a long time you and I, us…’ he took her hand in his. ‘We have been dancing around what was going on between us for a long, long time, but after everything that happened this year, what happened in this lab, I just need to tell you…Annie, I love you. I have been in love with you for a long time. And I know it’s wrong in many ways, I know that I have been difficult about my feelings towards you all I want is for you to give me a chance and I promise you I will do my best to make it up for every mistake I made.’

Annie looked at him with her eyes wide open, it felt an eternity but she wouldn’t even blink. Eventually, Jeff could feel cold sweat running down his spine, he was about to say something, but Annie gently withdrew her hand from his and looked away. When she turned back to him, he knew it was over. She won’t say it back, she won’t kiss him happily like it happens in her stupid favorite movies. Her eyes were blank and sad. All Jeff could feel right now is a shattering pain of his broken heart. 

‘I know that you love me, Jeff. I have known it for a long time,’ she said quietly. Jeff looked at her in confusion. He wanted answers, but waited for her to explain what she meant and if she knew, why wouldn’t she say something. Except she did say something, again and again and again…‘It was the only reason why I wouldn’t drop the subject for all this years. I love you too, you know.’

Jeff couldn’t believe his ears. She did say it back! She loved him! But why was she so sad, shouldn’t they go back to his place and…No, he wanted to get her on a date first, with flowers, candles and appletinies. Hell, he would even go to Disneyland with her if it’s still what she wanted. But then she started talking again and…

‘But it doesn’t matter, Jeff, it doesn’t mean anything. Whatever it was between us, or wasn’t, I want it to be over.’

‘But you just said…’

‘I know what I said and I mean it. I do love you, but I don’t want to be with you. Not after what happened today.’

‘If this is about Britta…’

‘It’s not, at least not directly,’ Annie took a deep breath and looked at him with the same determination he saw in the Borchert’s Lab when she gave that speech and he knew what happened, she made a decision and he knew Annie very well, he knew that is she decided something, really decided, there was no going back. ‘If you told me this, a year ago, six months ago, God, even two days ago, I would say ‘Yes! Let’s do this!’. But after what happened with you and Britta, how you got engaged and then just like that,’ she clicked her fingers, ‘call it off and now you decided to declare your love for me and all of it the matter of hours, I just…I can’t do this, Jeff! You can’t give me what I want and it’s not even your fault, it’s mine, really. I just was hoping to get out of you something that was never there. For you, love, relationships, marriage, is something you can easily dismiss and run away from. I am not like that and I don’t want that!’ her voice became a little shaky and Jeff could see she was about to cry. He wasn’t so far off himself, every word she said stabbed him like a sharp hot knife and the worst thing was that every word she said was the truth. ‘I want a man who will not be afraid to risk it, to be with me, who will fight for me, for us, not be terrified what people might think, make excuses or runway when things get bad. You never wanted to be with me, even though you had feeling for me. I need a man who will choose me every time and as much as it kills me, it can’t be you, because it’s not who you are. You never were and it’s time for me to accept it and m..move on.’ 

The tears were now running down her cheeks and she didn’t even bother to hide them. Jeff stood there motionless as if the lightning just hit him. He wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that he was the guy, but how can he prove it to her if everything he said or did up to this point was exactly the opposite. She was right, he didn’t deserve her, but she was wrong about one thing he wanted to be with her, he wanted to fight for them. He just didn’t know how. 

‘If you could just give me a chance…’ he began weakly. Suddenly Annie got furious. Her eyes became even larger than usual, but instead of warmth of ocean blue he could see the dark waves of anger directed at him. He was terrified and mesmerized at the same time, she was beautiful and he cursed himself, because despite the situation, despite of the utter disaster he caused, he never wanted her more.

‘I gave you chances!’ she almost yelled at him. He has never seen her like this. He broke something between them today, all those times he dismissed or ignored her, all his mistakes they finally turned back to slap him in the face, at his most vulnerable moment. ‘Dozens of them, again and again and instead of accepting it or talk about it you decided to ignore everything we had and could have!’ 

‘I am sorry, Annie! You are right about everything, but there is nothing I can do about it now, can I?! All I can do is tell you that yes, I was a jerk and yes, I deserve all that, but I love you! I never loved anyone like I love you and yes, this is the universe’s way to punish me because I screwed up so badly that the day, I finally have guts to bring this up, you…’ he couldn’t help himself but start yelling back at her. He could feel his rage building up. He was mad at himself, at Borchert, Annie for being so strong when he was so weak. But he couldn’t, he just couldn’t let her go no matter how hard he tried over the years and if today is the day she crucifies him, so be it. But he had to tell her everything, otherwise he will regret it for the rest of his life. He grabbed her shoulders and there was nothing platonic about it. It was passion and anger and hurt and love. And he wanted her to understand that. 

‘I am sorry I lied to you, dismissed you whenever you tried to talk me about it! I am sorry about this freaking engagement and I am sorry I am not somebody you thought I was! But I was never that, you knew that from the very beginning that I was not that guy, I didn’t believe in romance or love or any of that crap, but then you got under my skin and here I am madly in love with a woman who doesn’t even want me anymore!’ he took a deep breath and squeezed Annie’s shoulders even harder, she didn’t break the eye contact but there were no tears in her eyes anymore. ‘And I know that I deserve everything you just said, but it does matter to me that you love me, it does mean everything to me, because even if you never forgive me or never want to be with me, I will always love you.’

He finally let go of her shoulders and took a step closer. Annie was still uncharacteristically quiet, but she didn’t step back. Instead, she looked away for a second and then turned her gaze back to him. 

‘I am sorry, Jeff,’ she said quietly. ‘But…’

‘Annie, please, I am begging you…’ he whispered, hardly recognizing his own voice.

She put her small warm hand on his chest and he knew she could feel his heart beating like crazy, waiting for her verdict. She looked back at him and her eyes were once again the color of the ocean, but they were cold and distant and he knew that he lost his chance, she let him go.

‘I am sure that you believe what you just said, Jeff, but the thing is, I don’t trust you. And I meant what I said before, I want to move on. You call that, whatever that is between us, love, but it brought me so much pain. And now it is hurting you as well. It shouldn’t be this hard, it just shouldn’t.’ 

He wanted to punch something, break the window of the nearest car. He had never felt so defeated in his life. He knew, he always knew that if anyone can destroy him, it would be Annie. Oh, the irony. He looked at the starts above them and then back to Annie. Everything was over, five years of friendship/almost-relationship, five years of hope and confusion. He lost her. 

‘So, what happens now?’ he asked her. He was pretty sure he knew the answer, but God, he still hoped that she can find strength to stay in his life, as a friend at least. 

‘I don’t know,’ answered Annie.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

They stayed like that for awhile, staring at each other with no words, they didn’t need them, they never did, until Jeff heard familiar voices behind him.

‘Uuuwwww, are we interrupting?’ said Chang in his usual weird manner. Jeff has never wanted to punch somebody like he wanted now.

‘Don’t be gross,’ he could hear Britta interrupting Chang’s insinuations. 

‘Are you guys alright?’ asked Abed, looking them over. ‘We were looking for you, Shirley offered to continue celebration at the bar, so…’

‘Thanks, Abed, but I am too tired and just want to go home,’ Annie finally broke the eye contact and tried for a smile, which looked more like a grimace. Without a second glance, she got into her car and started the engine. Everybody was silent, they obviously could feel the tension, Jeff was determined to ignore whatever questions they might have, get home and drink himself into the oblivion. 

‘What about you, Wingman?’ yelled Chang happily, he was the only one clearly failing to read the room. Or the parking lot. 

‘Yeah, I think I will head home too,’ he said in a slightly broken voice. He just wanted to get away, to drink scotch and to forget everything that happened today. To not feel that giant void where once he had a heart. 

‘Jeffrey, dear, what?..’ Shirley attempted to ask the question.

‘Nothing,’ he almost cried. He composed himself and turned to the group. ‘It just was a long day and I want to get some sleep.’

‘Jeff…’ Britta began in her therapize tone and he knew if he doesn’t get out of here now, he will say or do something and is going to lose all the other people he cared about, just like he lost Annie…No, not now, you can mope about it at home, but not now, he said to himself. 

‘I’ll see you guys later,’ he practically ran to his car. 

As soon as Jeff got to his apartment, he took the bottle of scotch and began drinking it without even bothering to put it in the glass. Annie, his gentle, loving, beautiful Annie hated him. No scratch that, she loved him, but she didn’t trust him, which was even worse. Her own feelings didn’t matter to her anymore when it came to the decisions about him. And he did that. His selfishness, his ego, his cowardice destroyed the best thing he ever had in his life. Honestly what did he expect when he decided to tell her that he loved her? That she would jump into his arms and they will live happily ever after? If he was honest with himself yes, he did expect or at least hoped for that, he wasn’t an idiot, he knew she liked him at the very least. But even in his darkest fantasies, where she rejects him, he always got to salvage their friendship. But now…Now, even that was out of the window, he was sure of it. His Annie didn’t trust him anymore and he had nobody else to blame but himself. Jeff put down the bottle and his head fell into his hands. He sat on his couch in the darkness, alone, mourning his best friend and lost love. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The semester was over, so Jeff had nothing better to do but to drink and watch cheap TV. It’s been three weeks since the parking lot and during all this time Jeff barely went out of the apartment. If he did it, was mostly to buy booze and some food. He bailed on the gym, he ignored the texts and calls from his friends and he didn’t care. On Friday afternoon, he heard a determined knock on his door, he was already slightly drunk and was watching some TV show about aliens, so whoever it was, he wasn’t interested. Well, if he was honest with himself which now he was most of the time (that sucked even worse, considering the situation he was now in), he would have opened the door if a certain someone would knock. But he knew, very well, that Annie doesn’t want to see him. She never once texted him or called after that night. She said she wanted to move on from him, well he would always give her what she wants. The knocking on the door became more and more determined and he was pretty sure he knew who was behind it. Two second later, he got his confirmation as Britta yelled at him at the tops of her lungs.

‘WINGER, I DON’T CARE IF YOU ARE DEAD OR ALIVE, IF YOU WON’T OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL CALL THE COPS RIGHT THIS INSTANT!’ 

Jeff winced, knowing Britta she would actually call the cops and they will open the door anyway, only to find a pathetic forty-year old drunk in dirty sweatpants and with a three-weeks beard. 

He stood up from the couch slowly, his legs were heavy and clumsy from lack of exercise and excessive drinking. He opened the door and saw an angry, red face of his friend. Apparently, his appearance was so miserable that one look at him and Britta’s face changed instantly into concern and pity. Great, just what he needed, the woman he used to sleep with is now pitying him. Could he be more pathetic?  
‘Come in, if that what you came for,’ he said in a low voice. 

‘I came to make sure that you are in fact, alive!’ she stormed into his apartment and slammed the door behind her. Britta and her complete lack of boundaries, some things never change. Right now, he just wanted her to get lost. ‘What the hell happened to you, Jeff? I called you like 50 times! No response to texts, no contact with anybody! We were worried sick!’

‘As you can see, I am well and alive, so no need to be dramatic,’ he sighed and fell on the couch heavily closing his eyes. 

‘Alive, yes. But, well? You look and smell disgusting.’

‘Yeah, I guess you are right,’ Jeff didn’t even bother to argue with her and besides it’s been awhile since he took a shower. His head was hurting now. Britta pushed down his legs and sat right next to him. He knew she wouldn’t just let it go.

‘I know what happened between you and Annie,’ she said carefully. Jeff opened his eyes. He didn’t want to get into that, especially not with Britta. No, it was just too much. 

‘If you do, then I would advise for you to leave me be, I am in no mood for therapy,’ he wasn’t even trying to deny anything as he usually did, he simple had no energy for it. He had a faint hope that Britta would drop the subject, but, of course, she was having none of it. 

‘Jeff, listen, I know…’

‘You don’t know shit,’ he hissed at her. ‘Please, go away.’

‘Nope, if you want to insult me or yell at me, that’s fine, but I am not leaving until we talk.’

‘Then you might as well stay here forever, because I am not discussing it with you.’

‘Annie told me everything.’

‘I bet she did,’ he said grimacing. ‘Had a sweet little talk what an ass I am? You know, I am cool with that.’

‘It wasn’t like that, you jerk! After all this time have you learned nothing about friendship?’

‘If you are planning to break into a song, please spare me.’

‘You are impossible!’ cried Britta in frustration.

‘Then LEAVE! I never wanted you here in the first place!’ Jeff was breathing heavily now. 

‘Tell me something I don’t know! You are not the only one who feels like shit right now! You, me and Annie, we all screwed up and now all of us are miserable! And I am sorry!’

‘What do you mean?’ he asked in confusion. ‘You of all people, have nothing to apologize for and neither does…Annie,’ it was the first time he said her name since the parking lot. ‘It’s all my fault.’

‘I screwed up the moment I agreed to marry you,’ said Britta quietly. ‘It was so pathetic of me! I got so scared about losing all of you, Greendale, especially since Troy left and even Pierce…’ she swallowed hard. ‘I wanted to run away from all of it but I didn’t want to do it alone, so when you asked me to marry you, I was like ‘hell yes!’ of course if we did get married it would have been a complete disaster, we wouldn’t last two days in the same room! And I am sorry, I should have slapped sense into you and myself, instead…’

Jeff nodded in agreement, the reason why he was attracted to Britta in the first place, why he was attracted to Britta at all, because they were pretty much identically screwed up, lost and confused. At least now, he knew for sure that Britta didn’t have feelings for him or whatever, which made this whole mess slightly more bearable. 

‘How is Annie?’ he asked her quietly. Britta put her hand on his knee sympathetically. 

‘A wreck, miserable. Abed says she was crying every night for the first week after you guys talked. She is slightly better now, but still…She is not herself.’

‘How do you mean?’ Jeff asked with concern. He felt a wave of guilt washing over him anyway, but the way Britta said it, something about it scared him. 

‘The only reason why she talked to me…because believe me, she is just as stubborn as you are…is because she got in trouble couple of days ago.’

‘What kind of trouble?’ Jeff was already sitting on the couch, trying to keep himself together.

‘She got drunk, really drunk, like I have never seen her like that before,’ Britta sighed. ‘She went into this bar with her co-workers and well…Anyway, things got ugly, she got arrested and I am pretty sure she lost her job.’

‘It couldn’t be that bad, it’s Annie we are talking about! What could possibly go so wrong that…’

‘Well, some guy picked her up in the bar and I guess they were making out or something…’ Jeff could feel a punch to his guts. ‘But then she changed her mind and decided to go home, he wasn’t really happy about it, so he called her names and Annie…well she hit him with a bar stool…’

‘You are kidding…’

‘Nope, at least that was what the police told me when I went to pick her up from the station. Nothing serious happened to the guy! Annie is vicious, but she is still tiny, so apparently the only damage she really did was breaking his thumb and he wouldn’t press charges given that you know, he was the one who provoked her, harassment and all, so…’

Jeff groaned loudly. He couldn’t believe that Annie would do something like that. But then again, she did punch him in the face when learned about Britta and him and she did go over the board when her pen got missing. Yes, when he thought about it, Annie definitely could do some serious damage, especially if she was upset, which she clearly was.

‘Anyway,’ Britta continued bringing him back from his thoughts. ‘When everything was settled, they contacted me, well, actually they were trying to contact you first…’

‘Wait…What?’ his head snapped at Britta, eyes wide open.

‘Well, you are her #1 emergency contact and you are #1 on her speed dial. But they couldn’t reach you, so they called me and well…Don’t worry, she is home now, Abed is taking care of her.’  
Jeff’s head was about to explode. Once again, he proved himself to be unreliable. This is exactly what Annie was talking about, when she needed him most, he was so lost in his own self-pity and anger that he was unable and unwilling to help her or himself or anybody for that matter. His hand was about to reach the bottle of the scotch when he felt someone slapped his hand. 

‘What the hell are you doing, Winger?’ asked Britta in a high voice. 

‘I need a drink…’

‘What you need is to get your shit together and go talk to Annie!’

‘I am not going to do that,’ he said weakly.

‘She needs you!’

‘I am the reason she got into this mess in the first place. If I kept it to myself or told her sooner, when she needed it, not when she was disgusted with me to the point she wouldn’t even talk to me, NOTHING of this would have happened!’

He could feel tears in his eyes. He kept it bottled up for three weeks and now words just wouldn’t stop pouring out of him. 

‘And now, as you said all of us miserable! I asked you to marry me and almost screwed our friendship, Annie lost her job and can’t stand me anymore and all of it is my fault.’

‘Listen to me, Jeff,’ said Britta taking both of his hands into hers. ‘I am not going to lie, you did screw up badly, but it’s not all your fault. Do you know why Annie told me what actually happened?’

He shook his head weakly. 

‘It’s because she feels terrible. She is exactly like you, she wouldn’t talk to us about what happened, she was just there, unmoving like a marble statue. But after what happened in the bar…I guess she couldn’t hold it any longer and well, I kind of squeezed the truth out of her. And yes, she was mad at you and confused about our so-called engagement and God knows, she did her best to move on from you over the years, exactly just like you. But most of all, she was sorry for how she handled things with you,’ Jeff finally got courage to look Britta in the eyes. She smiled at him. ‘I am never going to repeat what I am about to say right now and if you do tell somebody I will deny it till the day I die, but the two of you…Everyone and I mean everyone is jealous of what the two of you have. We look at you and it feels right, you know. Despite the mistakes, age difference and everything else. I always thought that after you graduate, you and Annie would surely hit it off. But you didn’t and yes, that is on you, Jeff. But right now, with all the cards on the table, you can have what you wanted to have for years.’

Jeff looked at Britta and felt the wave of affection wash over him. Despite his awful behavior towards her, despite his cruel words, here she was trying to bring him back from the darkest of places. Just like she did when he met his father. Jeff loved Britta like she was his sister, a weird one obviously, who he’d seen naked a few years ago, but yeah, she was the closest he had to a sibling and now he was grateful for it more than ever. But Annie…Annie…

‘She doesn’t want me, Britta,’ he said quietly looking down. ‘After everything…She said she doesn’t want me anymore, whatever her feelings are.’

‘Well, that not what I heard,’ said Britta, smiling.

‘What?’

‘When we got home yesterday and had what it felt like at least ten pounds of candy, which was awful by the way, it was this weird Canadian…’

‘Britta…’

‘Yes, sorry, got carried away a little. Anyway, she told me that she still loves you and wants you and if she could go back three weeks ago, she would have handled things differently. But now she can’t even look it at you because she thinks you hate her and…’

‘I could never hate her!’

‘Well, tell her that! Forgive me for bringing this up, but aren’t you supposed to be a forty-year old man trying to woo a twenty-three year old? Yes, you made a mess, yes, she turned you down, but instead of sitting here feeling sorry for yourself, you could…’

‘Yes, yes, I get it Britta,’ he shook her hand affectionately. ‘I am sorry, you know for everything. And thank you, you know, for everything.’

‘You are welcome,’ she nodded happily. ‘Just so you know, if this plays out, I will never forget it, I will tell your children, their children and the children of their children of how awesome their aunt Britta is and if it wasn’t for her…’

‘Yes, yes I get it, you will be just as annoying as you are now for the next hundred years.’

‘Exactly and you have to like it, mister I haven’t showered in three weeks. Clean up, will you?’

‘Deal,’ Jeff smiled and it felt weird, his face’s muscles felt alien to him. ‘Now, would you please let me take a shower and think about what to do next?’

‘Yeah, sure, whatever. I am leaving for Brazil in a couple of days anyway, so I need to pack. And yeah, when I get back you and Annie better sort things out.’

‘Brazil? Britta, you are broke, where do you always get the money for your crazy travels?’

‘I have my ways,’ she smiled slyly.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

It’s been three days since Britta paid him a visit. Jeff kept his promise. He pulled himself together, cleaned his apartment, bought some real food and even went to the gym which backfired greatly. His muscles were killing him, after three weeks of scotch and couch it was no wonder his body was protesting, but he wanted to be himself again when he is going to see Annie. Yes, he intended to keep this promise as well. He just wasn’t sure how he was going do it. To be honest he wanted to get to the Apartment 303 the same day Britta visited him, but he stopped himself. He needed to be smart about this, he needs to be collected. Britta was right, he was a grown man and yes, he was never in love before, but everything bound to happen the first time, right? He can’t screw it up, even if Annie rejects him again, which would obviously hurt like hell, he at least will have some closure. If she didn’t…well, he didn’t want to go there, it was a very slim possibility, despite what Britta said. But maybe, if she really doesn’t hate him, they could back to being friends. Which is not bad at all.

He arrived to the apartment building where Abed and Annie lived. He texted Abed a little before warning him that he will stop by, after a few texts where Abed expressed his happiness that Jeff was all right referencing yet another TV show, Abed hinted that he will be at Rachel’s place for a few days which means Annie will be all alone. Given that she did lose her job because of her little break down, she was supposed to be at home. 

Jeff stood in front of the familiar door. He made a whole a speech about how much he loves her and how amazing she is and if she can ever forgive him, he will be the luckiest man alive, but last time this kind of behavior kicked his ass. He took a deep breath and waited, all the words he had prepared disappeared and all his willpower was now focused on keeping it together. 

He heard quite steps behind the door, he knew Annie would check the peephole. After all, she did live in the worst possible neighborhood until she moved in with Abed and Troy. He heard her gasping and waited patiently. He was expecting for her two ask him to leave or ignore his presence completely, but he heard a door lock and Annie opened the door. 

Her ocean blue eyes were wide open looking at him with fear, disbelief and a tiny bit of hope, or did he imagine that? She was pale and a little thinner than he remembered her. 

‘Annie, I…’

Before he could say anything, she crushed into him hugging the life out of his body. He could literally feel his ribs squeaking but he didn’t protest, instead he hugged her back just as fiercely hoping not to break her. She didn’t mind though, a few seconds later he could feel heavy sobs on his chest. He carefully closed the door behind them and lead her into the room, she still wouldn’t let go of him. Again, he didn’t mind. They got to the round table where their group once upon a time played Yahtzee or ate tones of pizza, or had a drinking game. She wouldn’t stop crying but she began kissing his cheeks, mumbling through her tears how sorry she was and how happy she is that he was here and then something more that Jeff for the life of him couldn’t understand because all he could think of that Annie was here, in his arms and she was hugging him and the void in his chest that appeared there three weeks ago, was now getting smaller and smaller and something else, warm and familiar was consuming the darkness. 

After about ten minute of more tears and three glasses of water, Annie finally stopped crying. Her hands were shaking nervously so Jeff dared to take them in his. Annie didn’t protest, so he found it to be a good sign. Her nose and eyes were bright red and slightly puffy, she was wearing yoga pants and a hoodie but to him she was as beautiful as ever. Even more so, because even though there were tears and pain, there was also hope. 

He didn’t know what to say, how to even begin, but Annie being well Annie, took the matters into her own hands.

‘I thought I’ll never see you again,’ she said quietly. Her voice is a little lower then usual. 

‘For a moment there, I thought the same,’ he confessed. First, he wanted to tell her that, no of course not, they would have found a way to each other. But if he wanted them to work, he needed to be honest. Even if the truth is not as attractive as lies. 

‘But you came here. Why?’

‘Britta,’ he began not sure how to put it a away, so Annie wouldn’t get mad at their friend. ‘She came by a few days ago, told me what happened. About your job, I am so sorry, Annie.’

‘It’s not your fault!’ she insisted slightly bewildered. ‘It was completely my fault, I brought it on myself.’ 

‘If I hadn’t…’

‘No, Jeff, listen! I am not sure how much Britta told you about what happened, but…’ Annie took a deep breath. ‘The things you said to me that day, I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. It was cruel, you were there pouring your heart and I…I was all condescending and angry, I was so hurt by everything that I couldn’t see what amazing thing you were trying to do, how far you have actually come and I ruined it! Not only that, but I ruined our friendship and I got Abed and Shirley, and Britta all worried. I…’

‘Annie, please, please listen to me,’ said Jeff angrily. He wasn’t mad at Annie, he was mad at himself for putting both of them through something like that. ‘If I wasn’t so afraid of getting hurt, none of this would have happened. Ironically, trying to protect us from what happened, I made it happened. I lost your trust and I lost the woman I love. Maybe you were a little cruel, but I deserved it. And,’ he smirked bitterly. ‘It’s not like anything you said was a lie.’

‘You still love me?’ she asked shakily. He looked at her and noticed that her cheeks turned slightly pink. ‘After everything I said to you?’

‘Of course. Nothing can change that,’ he smiled a little. That was the truth and he was a lost cause.

‘Why?’ she whispered. 

‘Because you are you, Annie and I am me and for me, well it’s always been you,’ God, he was awful. Once upon a time, he labeled men like that pathetic, weak losers. But the truth is that being so painfully honest and open took so much strength out of him, that he would rather do a thousand push-ups. 

Annie didn’t say anything, instead she just kissed him on the lips. First it was slow and gentle, but when Jeff’s brain finally realized what was happening he couldn’t help himself, he felt like he was about to swallow Annie, as pathetic as it sounds. But she didn’t seem to mind, she responded with the same passion and eagerness.

Once their lungs required some air, they finally broke the kiss off and Annie giggled a little, Jeff couldn’t help himself and laughed a little too. The void in his chest vanished completely. He could feel the warmth spreading through his body and not only because he just shared one of the most passionate kisses of his life, but because he felt happy, truly happy for the first time in a very long time. 

Annie got on her feet and tugged his hand lightly, Jeff followed her without a question until he realized that they were heading towards her bedroom. He slowed a little. Annie turned to him with a questioning look on her face. 

‘Annie, as much as want to and believe me, I really want to,’ it’s been a minute since he was with a woman, not to mention that this was Annie and he fantasized about this moment for long five years. ‘But are you sure it’s a good idea? Don’t we have things to talk about, I mean…’

‘Yes, we do, God knows, we do, but, Jeff,’ she touched his check lightly and he leaned into it without hesitation. ‘We’ll have time for it, but right now I just want to celebrate, that you are still you and I am still me and we love each other. That’s what is important.’

Jeff pressed a kiss to her palm and smiled a little. How can somebody be so smart and so sweet at the same time?

‘But don’t you want romance? And flowers and candles? I remember your wedding binder, it was practically made of vanilla,’ he grinned cheekily. Now if was just a bit of a teasing, but he still wanted to make sure. She smacked his chest lightly, just like in the good old times and smiled at him. Her eyes were warm and inviting but there was something else there, something he only imagined in his wildest dreams. 

‘I do want romance, and yes I do want flowers and long walks on the beach and I sooner or later I will persuade you to go to Disneyland with me. But do you know what else do I want?’

‘What do you want, Annie?’ he almost whispered. 

She leaned in closer, pressing her breasts to his body and he could feel the shiver down his spine that had nothing to do with the weather. 

‘I want to feel sexy and desirable, I want passion and most importantly, I want you.’


	4. Epilogue

Epilogue. 

Two weeks later Jeff invited the group to his apartment. Just the usual gang hanging out. It was just a coincidence that this was when Britta was coming back from Brazil, so it was kind of a welcome home party, it was also a coincidence that this was the day when Jeff and Annie decided to officially announce that yes, they are a couple now. It was also the day when Annie convinced Jeff to invite the dean ‘Jeff, sooner or later we will have to tell him I am still student, remember?’ to which he responds that if the dean starts crying over the fact that Jeff is now officially taken or starts singing ‘Kiss from a Rose’ he will throw himself out of the window, Annie is laughing at him of course, smacks his shoulder playfully and promises in any case to make it up to him. After she kisses him, he thinks maybe dean being here is not that terrible. 

After everyone arrived Jeff takes Annie’s hand and tells everyone the news. To be honest he expects a bigger reaction, but apart from dean fainting clutching his heart, everybody else including Chang react as if he told them a particularly fascinating story about bread or something. 

Shirley and Hickey just nod and say ‘It’s about damn time’. Chang asks inappropriate question about their sex life. Britta winks at them and gets back to her conversation with Shirley, showing her countless of pictures from Brazil. Abed yells ‘THAT IS A BRAND NEW INFORMATION!’ explaining that it was a quote from some old TV show, which Jeff recognizes to his surprise. Abed, of course, also had to clarify it to everyone that the reason why he chose this quote is because the relationship between Jeff and Annie is nothing new, just because they are now having sex, doesn’t mean they weren’t a couple before. Everybody laughs and the party goes on. Yes, the party goes on.


End file.
